14 years

Today I woke up to the most beautiful greeting; it was my husband whispering “Happy Anniversary!”
As those words filled my ears so did the realization of the fact that I’ve been so blessed to share my life with the same gorgeous, funny and gracious man for the last fourteen years of my life.
I stumbled at the words as I tried to say back to him, Happy Anniversary.
The weight of our history together was crashing down on me, almost bringing me to tears.
Ripples and currents were hitting me like the waves of the ocean. Love filled me up and began to overflow.

Not the romantic notion of love that hollywood movies and romance novels has sold us a bill of goods on but the three levels of love in all of its wonderful essence hit me all at the same time.
AGAPE(Unconditional Love) The God kind of love;
The Thayer Lexicon describes agape superbly when it says β€œto take pleasure in the thing, prize it above all other things, be unwilling to abandon it or do without it”

But nothing describes Agape better than:1 Corinthians 13:4-8

1 Corinthians 13:4 AMP
Love endures long and is patient and kind; love never is envious nor boils over with jealousy, is not boastful or vainglorious, does not display itself haughtily.

1 Corinthians 13:5 AMP
It is not conceited (arrogant and inflated with pride); it is not rude (unmannerly) and does not act unbecomingly. Love (God’s love in us) does not insist on its own rights or its own way, for it is not self-seeking; it is not touchy or fretful or resentful; it takes no account of the evil done to it [it pays no attention to a suffered wrong].

1 Corinthians 13:6 AMP
It does not rejoice at injustice and unrighteousness, but rejoices when right and truth prevail.

1 Corinthians 13:7 AMP
Love bears up under anything and everything that comes, is ever ready to believe the best of every person, its hopes are fadeless under all circumstances, and it endures everything [without weakening].

1 Corinthians 13:8 AMP
Love never fails [never fades out or becomes obsolete or comes to an end]. As for prophecy (the gift of interpreting the divine will and purpose), it will be fulfilled and pass away; as for tongues, they will be destroyed and cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away [it will lose its value and be superseded by truth].

EROS( romantic love) I felt a renewed sense of passion burning for my Kevin ;
I felt the presence of God washing over me rekindling the passion for my husband in a new and more intense intimate way.
In that moment I wanted to jump his bonesπŸ‘€.
Yes! I said that because I pray we’re all grown here.😊

and finally PHILEO(the love for my best friend)
Affection towards my husband was restored in a moment. Not saying that I had lost my affection toward him, only that God gave me a greater affection toward him.

The earlier years of our marriage were difficult as we learned to meld our different personality traits together, as we learned to live as one under the same roof at the same time. We were both still young and hot tempered. Neither one of us fully surrendered to our relationship with Holy Spirit or each other.
As the years have passed my how we’ve both grown and with that growth matured into our love.

We have been through so much, if I even attempted to write it all here this blog post would quickly turn into a manuscript.
Our marriage has been tempted, tested and tried but ;Oh for the grace of God.
Loving Kevin A. Johnson is easy because he is a hesed man. Submitted to the Lordship of Jesus Christ.
Loving me beyond himself every day in every way. In our life with demonstration after demonstration he faithfully puts me before himself. He seeks God on a daily basis for our family. I watch as he works with his hands and brings home the spoils of his labor. I see him being the leader of our home. I’ve seen him grow into the priest, prophet and king of our home. Taking his role seriously protecting the precious promise God has gifted to him.

Kevin you have taught me how to love through showing me what love really is. You stayed when any other male would have walked away. My earthly father never taught me what a man looks like so when you came I didn’t recognize who you were. I was unprepared for you when you arrived. But delicately you handled me with care. Thank you for being patient and kind with me and towards me. Thank you for helping to heal the scars left behind by all the impostors who claimed to be the real thing. Thank you for speaking to the queen in me and calling her forth when all I could see was damaged goods. Thank you for giving me two beautiful children and the ones that shall come forth unharmed and unhindered by any satanic or demonic attack.
I’ve seen the love of my heavenly Father through the love of my husband.

πŸŽ‰πŸŽ‰πŸŽ‰Today we celebrate fourteen years happily and successfully married. πŸŽ‰πŸŽ‰πŸŽ‰πŸŽ‰

Marriage does work!!!! Real men do exist!!!!



A Mother’s Heart

Mother’s Day is quickly approaching ,but ,for many this holiday can be very painful. For some it can be a time of deep depression .The spirit of suicide is extremely prevalent
and pronounced at this time as with many holidays when people tend to feel forgotten or discarded. Let’s not forget the mothers who have lost their children. Whether it be to violence or in the womb. We are still very much Mothers. Let us become more compassionate to the hurting around us. Let us become more sensitive to the heart of the ones who mourn.
A midst all the cards, flowers and gifts how about we remember the mothers who either lost their child(ren) to soon or the mothers who never got a chance to see, hold, touch,smell their child(ren).
Once you’ve carried a child in your womb no matter how long or short the time frame you are and forever will be a mother.

Mother, Jesus knows your hurt.
Hebrews 4:14
Seeing then that we have a great high priest, that is passed into the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast our profession.
Hebrews 4:15
For we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities; but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin.
Hebrews 4:16
Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need.

I love how these same verses read in the NLT

Hebrews 4:14
So then, since we have a great High Priest who has entered heaven, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to what we believe.
Hebrews 4:15
This High Priest of ours understands our weaknesses, for he faced all of the same testings we do, yet he did not sin.
Hebrews 4:16
So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most.

Tears may fall this Mother’s Day but please rest in knowing that you are not alone. God’s glorious grace is available to help you through. Don’t isolate yourself and feel as though you have to hide or mask the hurt. Surround yourself with the laughter and friendship of dear ones who love and support you.

I remember the first mother’s day after we lost our first child, I shut completely down. I got into the bed and couldn’t lift my head up off the pillow. I sobbed and sobbed and sobbed. I now know and understand that it was the spirit of depression attacking me and my mind. . But at that time I was for the lack of a better term, “A hot mess” . My husband tried to comfort me but I was inconsolable.
Neither one of us knew then what we were dealing with.
For a few years I would be attacked around Mother’s Day and it would last for great lengths of time. I was unable to function at all. I would shut down and go to bed.
Not until recently have I been freed from that kind of oppression.
I’ve been going through deliverance. Holy Spirit showed me that I was holding onto grief and sorrow. Which was leaving a doorway open for the enemy to use against me.
He showed me that Jesus took my grief and carried my sorrows on the cross. I had been redeemed from them both. I no longer was to carry grief or sorrow.

Isaiah 53:4
Surely he hath borne our griefs,
and carried our sorrows:
yet we did esteem him stricken,
smitten of God, and afflicted.

People kept telling me that it was ok to grieve and that is in total contradiction to what Jesus had done for me.
I had to cast that care over onto Jesus so that I could walk free in the liberty in which He died for me to have. I had to close off and seal the doorways and portals that I had opened to the enemy.

Mother you to can walk free from grief and sorrow. I pray that this revelation will become yours as well. I pray that the eyes of your understanding will become enlightened.

I thank you that you are sensitive to our hurts. I thank you that you care for us. I thank you that you heal the broken heart and bind up our wounds. Today Father I pray for every mother who has lost their child(ren). I pray complete deliverance from grief and sorrow. I pray that where their is pain you would exchange it for joy and peace. I pray for restoration. Father I ask you for recompense. I ask that they receive seven fold what was stolen from them.
I thank you that it is already done for us now.
In Jesus name.

My prayer is that this has helped you or may help someone you know.

Grace and Peace be multiplied to you.